Filkin’ around: Keep It

Guild chest

Spencerian really needs to stop daring me to do stuff. I had a lot of fun doing “99 Mad Kobolds,” a DDO parody version of “99 Red Balloons” (or “99 Luftballons,” whichever version you prefer). But Spence used the comment section to suggest that I take on “Safety Dance,” which became “They Can Dance.” But was that enough for him? Nooooo!

Spencerian: Next challenge: β€œBeat It” by Michael Jackson. That one should be easy!

Oh yeah? Well, at the risk of sounding like Barney Stinson: “CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!”

Open the chest to find it’s nothing but rocks
You need that spell pen necklace but you’re outta luck
The fighter pulled it though, and you know what really sucks
He’ll keep it, he’ll keep it

He says someday he’ll do a wizard TR
But earlier he said his next life will be barb
You’d bet your last plat he’ll never have a blue bar
But he’ll keep it, just because he’s a tool

He’ll keep it (keep it), keep it (keep it)
Even if he’ll never need it
No matter the item, he’ll always roll
Even vendor trash lines his pockets with gold
He’ll keep it (keep it)
He’ll keep it (keep it)
He’ll keep it (keep it)
He’ll keep it (keep it)

He’s not self-healing but you know he ain’t got
The class to buy the cleric a few mana pots
Don’t ask to roll on his loot ’cause he’s such a little snot
He’ll keep it, he’ll keep it

His guildies hate him ’cause he robs the guild chest
And puts it on the AH for the price that’s best
Helps himself to all the good stuff and he never will confess
He’ll keep it, just because he’s a tool

He’ll keep it (keep it), keep it (keep it)
Even if he’ll never need it
No matter the item, he’ll always roll
Even vendor trash lines his pockets with gold
He’ll keep it (keep it)
He’ll keep it (keep it)
He’ll keep it (keep it)
He’ll keep it (keep it)

This was semi-inspired by a guy in my old guild, who – while on a rogue with no blue bar – rolled against Jall for a ToD cleric necklace because he “might TR into a healer someday.” That was his standard excuse for rolling on pretty much everything – “I might TR into [insert class] someday.” If he kept even a small fraction of the stuff he rolled on and won, he’d be making Turbine rich with all the bank and inventory space he’d have to buy.

Meanwhile, I’m thinking “Walk Like an Egyptian” might make a good DDO parody song… πŸ˜‰

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “Filkin’ around: Keep It

  1. legendkilleroll

    Haha, that was the first one where i actually knew the tune πŸ™‚

    You should record an album πŸ˜›

    Also on the last point, i dont like when some gear drops and u hear “gonna tr to use that next life” if its a friend or guildie then i wouldnt mind but some random pug you just never know πŸ™‚

    Like

  2. Spencerian

    We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!

    That was the best ever!

    I’d love to see how “Walk Like an Egyptian” pans out. “Lag Like a Australian”, maybe? πŸ™‚

    Like

  3. Pingback: Even Now - Blog Archive - Filkin’ around: Don’t Trust Your Hirelings

  4. Pingback: Filkin’ Around: “Call Any Hireling” – Even Now

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s