Filkin’ Around: Black Abbot

Maybe I should stop listening to that binaural beats/lucid dreams stuff to fall asleep. It actually works pretty well… but the resulting dreams can be a bit, well, strange.

Sunday’s livestream featured semi-gimpy rogue Vic discovering anew just how VERY badly she sucks against undead as she tried to get herself flagged for Abbot along with LrdSlvrhnd and later Retsans (and even a bit of Citi thrown in for good measure).

Orchard was kinda sobering for Vic. When I say she sucks against undead, I mean she really, REALLY sucks. Badly. She’s 30, running level 14 quests on heroic elite, and struggling with stat damage and neg levels. Not pretty, and far from the generally-very-capable-even-if-she’s-no-Even Vic I’m used to.

She’s still never finished the heroic Orchard wildy, and I’m pretty sure she’d never run any of the quests on heroic, either. So she had nary a sigil piece to her name. Fleshmaker’s was pretty easy. Ghosts, mostly the same, until we got to Cholthulzz… and Vic, who almost never uses featherfall, beat Slvr down the falls by a wide margin, making her the sole target of ol’ Cholty’s wrath and resulting in her spending much of the end fight sequence completely helpless thanks to her 0 Con score. Yeah. Stat damage sucks. Would’ve been embarrassing if she’d died. LOL

Slvr was already spouting a good deal of maggro (mephit aggro) even before Vic headed to Orchard, because he’d been soloing Inferno on another toon and was somewhat more than heartily sick of trying to chivvy the right mephits to the right places. He’d already informed me in no uncertain terms that he was NOT going to run another Inferno… but luckily for me, Retsans took pity on me, Slvr ended up staying, Citi logged in, and we had actually a fairly enjoyable run.

We followed that up with several sigil-piece-farming runs of Vol. Poor Vic. I think now she’s got at least two or three of every sigil EXCEPT #5, the center frame. Luckily it can drop in any quest. Unluckily, that probably means a lot of Vol farming and neg levels from the quells.

I’m probably going to be doing a lot of heroic Orchard runs, because as much as I really do still hate Abbot, I seem to hate it just a little less every time I run it, and now I’m actually kind of hoping to get us all flagged and run it for guild night. Even’s the only toon I have who’s flagged, and until recently, she hadn’t even run it this life. You’d think with 19 toons on Thelanis, only two of whom are below level 16, I’d have flagged at least a few more… but no, they’ve all led blissfully Abbot-free lives so far. Acanthia did run the occasional Abbot during her first life, but has yet to flag in this one.

But anyway, about those binaural beats and isochronic tones and lucid dreams meditation audio files… I was sort of half waking up very early this morning, and somehow I started hearing Jefferson Airplane’s “White Rabbit” in my head, and I kinda felt like I’d been having a weird dream about Abbot flagging, so I donned my filk tiara (which was actually my prize for having the highest word count in my region for 2016 NaNoWriMo), and came up with “Black Abbot.”

If you’re unfamiliar with the original – first, shame on you! Luckily, I try to always link the sources of my inspirations, so here you go. For those who like to sing along, I used Karafun’s karaoke version in my video.

I was lucky enough to see Starship perform “White Rabbit” live, oh, many years ago. Grace Slick sounded even better live than she did recorded, and Mickey Thomas played a couple of riffs with his teeth. The next day, as my friends and I were leaving the hotel, we saw a guy walking across the parking lot and singing “Oh What a Beautiful Morning” at the top of his lungs. He walked right over a parked car, grinned and said “good morning” to us… and then we realized we’d just met (kinda) Mickey Thomas. Good times!

Streamin’ with Even is live every Sunday night at 11 pm Eastern time, now on the official DDOstream! The show will still be hosted on my own Twitch channel as well, but if you’re watching live and want to chat, DDOStream is the place to be. Videos are archived on my YouTube channel. I’m usually on Thelanis, usually on Evennote, and usually have room, so feel free to send me a tell if you’d like to join! I’m also definitely open to suggestions on what to run next. You can send ingame mail to Evennote on Thelanis, or email me at evennote (at) gmail dot com. Thanks for reading and/or watching!  🙂

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A Visit From Sir Picks-A-Lot

was the night before Festivult, and high o’er the realm

The airship cruised onward, NPC at its helm.
Our Cannith boots lay on the floor, all in pairs
So jumbled, but we were too tired to care.
From the legacy buffs on up to the top deck
Not one single gift had been opened, not yet.
And the bards with their songs, and the air sorc who zapped
Settled in while the barb dreamed of things that go splat.
When out through the porthole we spied something flashing
That couldn’t be good – we didn’t want to be crashing.
Up, up to the helm I, the paladin, did dash
“If there’s trouble,” I thought, “that’s why I’ve got shield bash.”
The deck was quite slippery, and rightfully so
For the sky had just opened and started to snow.
I rubbed at my eyes – through the flakes did I peer
At a miniature rogue, with a voice loud and clear.
He was little, so tiny, in some gear that he’d nicked
I knew in a moment he must be a… trick.
He seemed to be dreaming, and showed him no shame
As he sleep-called his fantasies, called them by name.
“Oi, Cellimas! Malicia! And you Tidy lasses
“Lift up them skirts and show me yer… stashes!
“From your tops to your skirts, to your waistlines so small
“Now come to me, come to me, come to me, all!”
But the women he called appeared not from the sky
For they were but figments of a mind far from dry.
So onto the deck he spilled, yes, it’s true
With a pack full of trap parts, and some thieves’ tools, too.
Now wide awake, he seemed quite uncouth
And rather a pervert, to tell you the truth.
As I shook my poor head, I started to frown
For he looked like he wanted to shake the ship down.
He glanced all around, as though casing the joint
I told him to leave, but he quite missed the point.
His belt buckle gleamed on a strap of jet black
It was obvious, clearly, that he’d stolen that.
His bag – how it bulged! Almost too much to carry
I’d met him before; it seemed he never varied.
From his thin little mouth his excuses did flow
“Just borrowed,” he swore, “this ain’t stuff that I stole!”
He asked for a drink, and said he was beat
And as soon as I turned, stole the barkeep’s best meat.
I spun him to face me, this sly little fellow
Then fearing my wrath, he started to bellow.
“Jus’ wanted a nosh, y’know, for my health!
“C’mon, you can spare it, this ship reeks of wealth!”
He winked his right eye and nodded his head
And I wished he would leave, as I wanted my bed.
He locked me in the Danger Room before setting to work
And cleaned out every guild chest, that greedy little jerk.
He drank all our broccoli juice, and then picked his nose
I looked away then, because that was quite gross.
He loaded his pockets with all of our treasure
He even stole our bard songs, yes, every measure.
And I heard him exclaim, ere he vanished from sight,
“Happy Festivult to me! Oi, what a great night!”

Casting Rocky Horror, DDO-style

Lolth N. Furter
As a few of you may know, I’m in an annual local production of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” I play Dr. Scott, a role I fell into accidentally when the guy who was supposed to play him stopped showing up after a few rehearsals and the director discovered I could do a German accent. (Actually mine’s more Austrian, but close enough for our purposes.)

We just wrapped up five shows in three days, and my voice is pretty much nonexistent – Dr. Scott’s voice is about five octaves lower than mine, LOL. But while I can’t talk very much right now, I can write.

So I was pondering what to do for my weekly blog when it occurred to me that it might be fun to cast Rocky Horror… with DDO NPCs. And since I couldn’t think of any better ideas than that – well, here you go. The Rocky Horror cast, DDO-style.

Cast of Characters

Brad Majors (A Hero) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Talbron Tewn
Janet Weiss (A Heroine) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Cellimas Villuhne
Riff Raff (A Handyman) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Inquisitor Gnomon
Magenta (A Domestic) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Malicia
Columbia (A Groupie) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Eveningstar Villager
Dr. Frank N. Furter (A Scientist) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lolth
Rocky Horror (A Creation) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Belashyrra
Eddie (Ex Delivery Boy) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coyle Lovell
Criminologist (An Expert) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Amskar
Dr. Scott (A Rival Scientist) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bensen Virandson

Ralph Hapschatt . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Elminster
Betty Munroe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ana Brabener
Photographer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Truthful One

The Transylvanians

Jeets Shimis and the Tidy lasses
Arraetrikos, Horoth, and Suulomades
Zuggtmoy
Roderic Nettle
Cholthulzz
Scrag, Arboth, and Snutch
Velah
Lucy Lawful
The Eveningstar Villager
Jack Jibbers

Now I kinda want to cast some more movies with DDO characters… and I wanna filk some RHPS songs.  *evil grin*

Also, Lolth looks kickass with those lips, doesn’t she?

Filkin’ Around (LrdSlvrhnd Edition): The Final Showdown

Hey all!  LrdSlvrhnd here (or just “Slvr” as Even likes to call me).  I figure if Tuna can hijack the blog, so can I…

So the other night, Citi and I were running Sharn Syndicate on our recently-TR’d rangers (well, his was recently TR’d, this weekend for the heroic XP boost; I’d TR’d Dona months ago but hadn’t gotten around to doing much with her until this past month or so).  My Dona is strictly ranged (following Strimton’s Acid Arrow build (even if you never plan on playing a ranged ranger, you should follow the link and read the guide… it’s freakin’ hilarious… but I digress)); Citi’s Aariah is a Tempest Trapmonkey, which came in really handy rescuing the Binders and repossessing the Stormreaver Fresco.  We’d had a bit of a problem with Grammah Binder; first time we went in, we found her and led her to the exit, but those objectives never cleared.  So we just recalled, reset, and re-entered, and no problems this time; we even had at least one Binder smart enough to run halfway to the exit on his own rather than trying to fight stuff!

On the way into “Come Out and Slay” I said to Citi, “Time for the final showdown… as sung by Europe!”  Totally didn’t mean to invoke Europe when I’d started, I’d only noted the resemblance after the fact.  But it got me thinking.  And then today as I was biking, “The Final Countdown” came on my MP3 player, which really got me thinking.  And thus:

We enter Tenements,
We hope it goes well.
There may be some payback
From Sharn, who can tell?
We saved the Statlers from a siege
And rescued the Binders (the Binders)
Will another gang come to Stormreach?

It’s the final showdown
The final showdown

Oh

There’s an army below us (below us)
So we stone minotaurs
‘Cause framing medusas
Might make those bulls roar, yeah
With so many fights left to go
And monsters to slay (monsters to slay)
I hope we don’t get turned to stone

It’s the final showdown
The final showdown
The final showdown
The final showdown
Oh

The final showdown, oh
It’s the final showdown
The final showdown
The final showdown
The final showdown
Oh
It’s the final showdown
The Sharn Syndicate
The final showdown
Army from Droaam
The final showdown
The final showdown
Oh
The final showdown, oh

Sorry there’s no video, but I’m just not as talented as Even in that department… g 

And speaking of Even… time for this unscheduled interruption to end!  Later all!

Filkin’ Around: “Call Any Hireling”

My guildie Comic Relief made the most of his 100th blog post, which detailed 100 things he likes about DDO.

One of these days I should do something similar. Heck, I could get to almost 100 things just by listing all of my cosmetic pets… but that’s a whole ‘nuther topic. For now, it’s enough to say that two of my favorite things about this game are my guildies and DDO parody songs.

Got ’em both covered with this one – it’s a DDO-themed filk based on a song Comic asked me to parody, oh, aaaaaaaages ago (in the comments section of this post, to be exact).

Spoiler alert: You get to watch Wyoh die in a fire!

Couldn’t find a karaoke or instrumental version, so I just plugged in the original song and slapped the new lyrics in the (now always visible, no CC needed) captions.

Filkin’ around: “Purple Worm”

Purple worm, purple worm

I’m sure anyone who read my last blog will be very glad that Niituna has been forbidden to touch the computer again. Ever. The strain on my Caps Lock key was incredible.

But if you’re an easily offended Prince fan, you just might want to stick with Tuna’s attempt at blogging instead of reading the rest of this, ’cause I’m venturing into kinda sacred territory here.

It’s been a pretty tough year as far as celebrity deaths go, and one of the hardest to take was the loss of Prince back in April. The Minnesota native was arguably the most brilliant musical mind of my generation… and he was NOT a fan of parody songs, having famously turned down “Weird” Al Yankovic’s requests to parody his music at least four times.

So I kinda feel a little weird about doing this. Wherever Prince is, if he should somehow happen across this, I hope he’ll know I mean no disrespect. I’m just pairing one of my favorite songs – “Purple Rain” – with a creature from one of my favorite DDO places.

Purple Worm

I never meant to eat that steadfast armor
I never meant to make my tummy hurt
I only wanted one time to eat you, human
I only wanted to eat you, human, ’cause I’m a purple worm

Purple worm, purple worm
Purple worm, purple worm
Purple worm, purple worm
I only wanted to eat your party ’cause I’m a purple worm

I never wanted to be a bloodrock medusa
I only wanted to hang out underground
Human, you could never dodge me, silly loser
It’s such a shame when you get swallowed down

Purple worm, purple worm
Purple worm, purple worm
Purple worm, purple worm
I only want to eat you up ’cause I’m a purple worm

Human, I know, I know, I know about digestin’
It’s time for me to grab you, start to chew
And your hire too

You say you’re not a feeder
But you can’t seem to win on this turn
I think you better give up
And let me chomp you ’cause I’m a purple worm

Purple worm, purple worm
Purple worm, purple worm

If you feel how I’m sliming you right here
C’mon, slide right down

Purple worm, purple worm
I only want to eat you, only want to eat you
‘Cause I’m a purple worm

Want Your Blade, Jack

 

Sigh.

I’ve begged the chest. I’ve danced with it. I’ve hugged it. I’ve tickled the itchy spot behind its ears – or I would have, if chests had ears. I’ve cheered for it. I’ve shown it my right hand so it can see that I still don’t have a Cursed Blade of Jack Jibbers. Tonight, I even groveled before it…

… all for naught. The loot gods sit on their lofty perches laughing at my feeble attempts to get that elusive Jibbers blade.

Clearly I need to try something new. And so I thought, hmmm, what says “I care” more than a song written JUST FOR YOU, chest? OK, so I borrowed the melody from “Hit the Road, Jack” by Ray Charles (László Csotye’s karaoke version used in the video can be found here) and put together this little duet between Even-the-pally and Jack Jibbers.

Lyrics are in the captions – if you don’t see them, click the little “CC” button at the bottom. They’re a bit confusing – the captioning I used let me use formatting, so it was easy to distinguish which lines were Even’s and which were Jack’s. Unfortunately YouTube stripped the formatting when I uploaded the captions file, so it’s all ordinary plain Arial 28-pt text. Meh.

 

Keava gets a Jibbers!

 

At least now I do have definitive seen-with-my-own-eyes proof that Jack Jibbers’ cursed blade does indeed exist. I was starting to wonder! But the other night, I was about to make my nightly Two-Toed Tobias run and asked Keava if he’d like to come along. Turns out Keava doesn’t even own Three-Barrel Cove and had never run ANY quest out there. No problem, that’s what guest passes are for.

Right before we opened the chest, I told him he didn’t have to pass me the Jibbers if he pulled it… you see where this is going, right?

Uh-huh. On his FIRST EVER RUN, Keava pulled the Jibbers blade. I’m pretty sure Even was crying in the hot tub later that night. I’m a little disappointed, too. Not so much about not getting the blade, though…

Naturally the first thing we did was run around the wildy until we found some likely-looking mobs so we could get Keava killed and see the blade in action. I’d been under the impression that using the blade invoked an animation in which you dramatically stabbed yourself in the chest with it and miraculously rose from the dead. It’s not QUITE that cool. There’s a bit of black smoke, and then you’re just… alive. Well, kinda. You’re undead, and you have a scimitar sticking out of your chest. I would’ve preferred the self-stabbing animation, but it’s still pretty cool.

… and I still don’t have one.

Filkin’ Around: Umber Hulk Eyes

 

Update 31 hits tomorrow! YAY!

To celebrate U31, aka “Gnomework,” and the fact that WE’RE GETTING UMBER HULKS!, I thought a filk might be in order. After seeing the glowy umber hulk eyes in this preview video, I thought “Bette Davis Eyes” as performed by Kim Carnes would make a good filk. I used a karaoke version for my interpretation.

Lyrics are in the video captions – if you can’t see them, make sure you have captions enabled!

I was originally going to just use a screenie and paste the lyrics in the body of the post, hence the small image size on the video – I just couldn’t be arsed to go back and enlarge the images after I decided to go with a video instead of a still shot.

And yes, I DO already want umber hulk creature companions…

Filkin’ Around: Dragon Bane (She’s a mother, all right)

 

Paladin Even is probably the toon I play the most simply because, as long as I’m actively trying to stay alive (and sometimes even when I’m trying to die), she’s nearly impossible to kill. But when I was looking for something to livestream earlier tonight, I decided to bring a different toon, because I didn’t think the world needed another video of Even farming wraiths in FoT.

So I grabbed Trici, my seriously underplayed but totally adorable lvl 16 gnomificer, and took a look at her adventure compendium. “Aha,” I said to myself, “she hasn’t run Mired in Kobolds yet. That should be fun!”

And fun it was… until the end. After mostly cruising through hordes of kobolds, Trici just wasn’t quite up to the challenge of a bunch of self-healing casters, plus their melee friends… and oh yeah, Varath, that big dragon who really wanted gnome hors d’oeuvres. It wasn’t until her third re-entry that she finally dispatched them – only to find herself face-to-face with Sinvala, an even bigger dragon who happened to be Varath’s mother. Sinvala was NOT happy about the death of her offspring, and NOT interested in hearing Trici explain that it was all in self-defense. She was, however, VERY interested in turning Trici into a soulstone.

What can you do when your adorable gnomificer becomes dragon bait? You can filk, of course! So I wrote a little ditty about Trici’s experience in Driftwood Mire. Sadly, no lyrics with the video, because I couldn’t find a suitable karaoke or instrumental version of “Renegade” by Styx. Hopefully you’ll know the melody well enough to sing along – if not, well, that’s why I always link the original!

 

 

          Dragon Bane

Oh, mama dragon, run for my life from your big sharp pointy claws
Spiked plants have put an end to my running, they just tear me all to shreds
Oh, mama dragon, hear me a-cryin’, I’m a gimpy little gnome
Fire breath is rainin’ down on my head and I won’t last very long

My time is up, hit points are down
She’s finally killed me
No dragon bane, it’s such a shame
This quest is just silly

Release now and go away
Get revenge another day
On the dragon mom

Oh, mama dragon, sorry ’bout your son but please don’t bite off my head
Hire won’t heal enough keep me alive, now I’m for sure totally dead
Scary mama dragon, hear me cryin’, I’m a gimpy little gnome
Fire breath is rainin’ down on my head and I won’t last very long

My time is up, hit points are down
She’s finally killed me
No dragon bane, it’s such a shame
This quest is just silly

Release now and go away
Get revenge another day
On the dragon mom

Oh, mama dragon, run for my life from your sharp, pointed, scaly claws
Fire breath is rainin’ down on my head and I won’t last very long

Yarkety Yark!

Even is being mean and refusing to post this for me.  Instead, she invited me to an author on her blog (likely hoping that I’ll start blogging myself, HAH) and forcing me to do it.  Since I have no idea how long the Kobold forums are going to be live, here is the filk I was inspired to write on the *Yark* thread.

The tune is, of course, Yakety Yak, by the Coasters.

Icons of Khyber and prayer beads
So much better than heroic deeds
If you don’t hop up that sewer wall
Adventurers are gonna make you fall
Yarkety Yark (don’t jump back)

Just remember the Waterworks
Those adventurers are such jerks
Just get all shinies out of sight
Or humans will take them in a fight
Yarkety Yark (don’t jump back)

Just put on your skull mask, ick
And then you look like Kasquick
Being descended from dragons
Kobold always prone to braggin’
Yarkety Yark (don’t jump back)

We gonna mine the shinies
Smokin’ crystal, don’t blow please
Transport back to the Foreman
This job is such a bore, man
Yarkety Yark (don’t jump back)

(There, Even… Happy now I blog kobold filks, to paraphrase a kobold?)

Filkin’ Around: “Pally”

 

Our little band of Flower Sniffers of Destiny has been shortmanning raids of late – raids because they’re fun, shortmanning because of the lag monster.

During a fun but failed (because we let too many good guys die) attempt to four-man Defiler of the Just the other night, Seki said that Even seemed impossible to kill.

He mentioned that again tonight, after a successful three-man Fall of Truth and a not quite as successful Fire on Thunder Peak, also three-manned. We were actually not doing badly in FotP until Even accidentally grabbed the aggro of BOTH dragons and couldn’t shake it. PDK flesh must be a gourmet delicacy to dragons; even when she turtled up and let Seki and Gonari – neither of whom is any slouch when it comes to DPS – go after the dragons, all the dragons wanted was paladin shish kebab.

Sooo, no completion since you can’t damage either dragon if they’re near each other, and with them both aggroed hard on Even, there was no way we were going to get them separated. Eventually Seki had to log – real life, sleep, that kind of nonsense.  😉

I considered recalling, but RESPAWNING HELLHOUNDS. And I do not – YET – have a hellhound pet.

Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. A couple hundred hellhounds later, my fingers were cramping up and I was feeling almost ready to pack it in. Almost, but not quite. “I’ll just keep going until she dies,” I told myself. I figured it wouldn’t be terribly long before I ran out of both mana and Lay On Hands. I was right – kinda. The outdated con-op goggles Even wears, although they took a heck of a beating, kept replenishing her spell points when she got too low to Cocoon. Her Lay on Hands regenerate – not terribly quickly, but fast enough. Oh, and she’s using Terminus, which tosses a hjeal on her every so often when she gets hit.

No, Even wasn’t going down without a fight. “OK,” I thought, “I’m just going to stop hjealing her.”

But there was the not insignificant matter of those random shield hjeals, and then there was this nifty thing called Eternal Defender – short version, if Even’s hit points drop below zero but not lower than her range of unconsciousness, she immediately gets a hjeal. And with her crazy high heal amp, it’s a pretty nice hjeal, too. Oh, and I can’t remember the exact number, but her range of unconsciousness extends pretty far.

I stopped blocking. I took off her armor (Breastplate of the Celestial Avenger). I unequipped her shield…

… none of which helped. She still stood there very much alive for an inordinate amount of time considering there were two dragons, a bevy of magma brutes, hordes of skellies, the occasional necromancer, and, oh yeah, those hellhounds, all trying very hard to kill her.

I don’t know exactly how long she actually lasted. She’d been going for quite a while before I got the idea to start up the video capture, and the first capture went for maybe 10 minutes before failing because I ran out of disk space. (Oops.) After that, I tried to stop each video somewhere around a minute; ended up with four short clips I strung together, chopped the beginning off so it’d match the length of the song, and put on my filk hat. (No, I don’t really have a filk hat. Maybe I should get one.)

tl;dr: I tried really hard to kill Even. It took a while.

Lyrics are NOT in this post because I FINALLY GOT CAPTIONS TO WORK! GO CAPTIONS! If you don’t see them, click the little “CC” button near the bottom right of the player.

Sadly, I don’t know how to contact Dolores O’Riordan to see if she’d sing my lyrics to the Cranberries’ hit “Zombie.” I used Karafun’s karaoke version for this video.

Filkin’ Around: Steelstar Killed My Gimpy Bank Bard

Alas, poor Getting.

 

My unfortunate, intentionally-gimped bank bard wishes she’d not chosen DDO’s 10th Anniversary Party for her debutante ball.

True, Scrag the kobold was happy to see her. And the Coin Lords gave her a nice salute when she arrived.

But then… but then…

Being a bard, she chose to describe her experience at the party via song. Not just ANY song, mind you, but a filk. Thus, my latest creation, to the tune of “Video Killed the Radio Star” by The Buggles (which was the first video ever played on MTV, in case you didn’t know), is the Amazing Gimp-O-Bard version. While you’re reading the lyrics (and hopefully singing them in your head – or aloud – to the melody), try to imagine them as performed by a somewhat plaintive sun elf wearing a big mushroom hat and strumming her lute with a bouquet of flowers…

 

   Steelstar Killed My Gimpy Bank Bard

I should’ve buffed her hitpoints past one fifty-two
Played that one song to get her DCs up there too
But she got stunned and there was nothing she could do
Ow ow ow

She ran upstairs and tried to dirge that dev arti
His robo dog just knocked her down and bit her knee
Wish she’d dumped Heighten for a toughness feat or three

Ow ow ow
She’s now a soulstone
Ow ow ow
He silenced her notes

Steelstar killed my gimpy bank bard
Steelstar killed my gimpy bank bard
He shot her up, it broke her heart
Ow ow ow ow ow ow

Her party favors – well, I guess they’ll stay with Jeets
The other devs she’ll never get a chance to beat
That oatmeal raisin cookie wasn’t such a treat

Ow ow ow
Some celebration
Ow ow ow
She’s bruised and achin’

Steelstar killed my gimpy bank bard
Steelstar killed my gimpy bank bard
His lightning blast zapped her health bar
His rune arm tore her all apart

Ow ow ow ow ow
Ow ow ow ow ow

Steelstar killed my gimpy bank bard
Steelstar killed my gimpy bank bard
His lightning blast zapped her health bar
His rune arm tore her all apart

He shot her up, it broke her heart
She missed him with her throwing dart

Oh, my gimpy bank bard
Oh, my gimpy bank bard

Steelstar killed my gimpy bank bard
Steelstar killed my gimpy bank bard
Steelstar killed my gimpy bank bard
Steelstar killed my gimpy bank bard
Steelstar killed my gimpy bank bard (Oh, my gimpy bank bard)
Steelstar killed my gimpy bank bard (Oh, my gimpy bank bard)
Steelstar killed my gimpy bank bard (Oh, my gimpy bank bard)
Steelstar killed my gimpy bank bard (Oh, my gimpy bank bard)
Steelstar killed my gimpy bank bard (Oh, my gimpy bank bard)
Steelstar killed my gimpy bank bard (Oh, my gimpy bank bard)

 

Getting vs. Steelstar