Even’s Guide to Cosmetic Pets

I’ve had this idea kindasorta kicking around in my head for a while, but it needed some motivation to make its way from whatever fluff might be between my ears to an actual blog post. That motivation came in the form of a comment from DDOCentral on one of my recent posts: “You really should make a list of all of the cosmetic pets in DDO.”

Well, alrighty then! It’s pretty darn long, but then there are a LOT of pets! Ninety-seven in all, and 199 tricks, as well… so many of each, in fact, that I gave up on the idea of putting tables for each directly into this post, and embedded the spreadsheets instead.

If you want to just pull up the master spreadsheet in Google docs (probably a good bit easier to view than the embedded version), here you go! Be patient; the images may take a few secs to load.

Updated March 7, 2017.

Pet database

Tricks database

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Filkin’ Around (LrdSlvrhnd Edition): The Final Showdown

Hey all!  LrdSlvrhnd here (or just “Slvr” as Even likes to call me).  I figure if Tuna can hijack the blog, so can I…

So the other night, Citi and I were running Sharn Syndicate on our recently-TR’d rangers (well, his was recently TR’d, this weekend for the heroic XP boost; I’d TR’d Dona months ago but hadn’t gotten around to doing much with her until this past month or so).  My Dona is strictly ranged (following Strimton’s Acid Arrow build (even if you never plan on playing a ranged ranger, you should follow the link and read the guide… it’s freakin’ hilarious… but I digress)); Citi’s Aariah is a Tempest Trapmonkey, which came in really handy rescuing the Binders and repossessing the Stormreaver Fresco.  We’d had a bit of a problem with Grammah Binder; first time we went in, we found her and led her to the exit, but those objectives never cleared.  So we just recalled, reset, and re-entered, and no problems this time; we even had at least one Binder smart enough to run halfway to the exit on his own rather than trying to fight stuff!

On the way into “Come Out and Slay” I said to Citi, “Time for the final showdown… as sung by Europe!”  Totally didn’t mean to invoke Europe when I’d started, I’d only noted the resemblance after the fact.  But it got me thinking.  And then today as I was biking, “The Final Countdown” came on my MP3 player, which really got me thinking.  And thus:

We enter Tenements,
We hope it goes well.
There may be some payback
From Sharn, who can tell?
We saved the Statlers from a siege
And rescued the Binders (the Binders)
Will another gang come to Stormreach?

It’s the final showdown
The final showdown

Oh

There’s an army below us (below us)
So we stone minotaurs
‘Cause framing medusas
Might make those bulls roar, yeah
With so many fights left to go
And monsters to slay (monsters to slay)
I hope we don’t get turned to stone

It’s the final showdown
The final showdown
The final showdown
The final showdown
Oh

The final showdown, oh
It’s the final showdown
The final showdown
The final showdown
The final showdown
Oh
It’s the final showdown
The Sharn Syndicate
The final showdown
Army from Droaam
The final showdown
The final showdown
Oh
The final showdown, oh

Sorry there’s no video, but I’m just not as talented as Even in that department… g 

And speaking of Even… time for this unscheduled interruption to end!  Later all!

Filkin’ Around: “Call Any Hireling”

My guildie Comic Relief made the most of his 100th blog post, which detailed 100 things he likes about DDO.

One of these days I should do something similar. Heck, I could get to almost 100 things just by listing all of my cosmetic pets… but that’s a whole ‘nuther topic. For now, it’s enough to say that two of my favorite things about this game are my guildies and DDO parody songs.

Got ’em both covered with this one – it’s a DDO-themed filk based on a song Comic asked me to parody, oh, aaaaaaaages ago (in the comments section of this post, to be exact).

Spoiler alert: You get to watch Wyoh die in a fire!

Couldn’t find a karaoke or instrumental version, so I just plugged in the original song and slapped the new lyrics in the (now always visible, no CC needed) captions.

Filkin’ around: “Purple Worm”

I’m sure anyone who read my last blog will be very glad that Niituna has been forbidden to touch the computer again. Ever. The strain on my Caps Lock key was incredible.

But if you’re an easily offended Prince fan, you just might want to stick with Tuna’s attempt at blogging instead of reading the rest of this, ’cause I’m venturing into kinda sacred territory here.

It’s been a pretty tough year as far as celebrity deaths go, and one of the hardest to take was the loss of Prince back in April. The Minnesota native was arguably the most brilliant musical mind of my generation… and he was NOT a fan of parody songs, having famously turned down “Weird” Al Yankovic’s requests to parody his music at least four times.

So I kinda feel a little weird about doing this. Wherever Prince is, if he should somehow happen across this, I hope he’ll know I mean no disrespect. I’m just pairing one of my favorite songs – “Purple Rain” – with a creature from one of my favorite DDO places.

Purple Worm

I never meant to eat that steadfast armor
I never meant to make my tummy hurt
I only wanted one time to eat you, human
I only wanted to eat you, human, ’cause I’m a purple worm

Purple worm, purple worm
Purple worm, purple worm
Purple worm, purple worm
I only wanted to eat your party ’cause I’m a purple worm

I never wanted to be a bloodrock medusa
I only wanted to hang out underground
Human, you could never dodge me, silly loser
It’s such a shame when you get swallowed down

Purple worm, purple worm
Purple worm, purple worm
Purple worm, purple worm
I only want to eat you up ’cause I’m a purple worm

Human, I know, I know, I know about digestin’
It’s time for me to grab you, start to chew
And your hire too

You say you’re not a feeder
But you can’t seem to win on this turn
I think you better give up
And let me chomp you ’cause I’m a purple worm

Purple worm, purple worm
Purple worm, purple worm

If you feel how I’m sliming you right here
C’mon, slide right down

Purple worm, purple worm
I only want to eat you, only want to eat you
‘Cause I’m a purple worm

Hostamile takeamover

ME TUNA

NOT DA FISH! WHOLE NAME NIITUNA, BUT BARB NOT LIKE WRITAMING TOO MANY LETTERSES

ME BARB

ME SMASH ALL DA TINGS

SMASH SMASH SMASH!

ME PUSH SILLY PALAMADIN OUT DA WAY SO ME CAN MAKE BLOG

STOOPID CLERICS WORSHAMIP DEE-TEEZ. BARB WORSHAMIP KARGON! TUNA DA PRETTIAMEST BARB COZ SHE GOTSES SHINY PURPAMLE EYES, BUT KARGON DA BESTAMEST BARB EVEN THOUGH HE NOT PRETTY AS TUNA. KARGON GOTSES TASTAMY HAM NAMEDED FOR HIM. TUNA WANT FOODSES NAMEDED FOR HER. CITI SAY TUNA SALAMAD FOR BARB. BARB SAY SALAMAD WHAT SKINNY ROGUES EATSES. BARB SMASH ALL DA SALAMADS! SMASH SMASH SMASH!

BARB THINKSES BARB SHOULD CHANGE LAST NAME TO CASSAMEROLE. OR MAYBE STEAK.

BARB RUN WHELOON TONIGHT WIF LORD SILVERMAHAND AND CITI. BARB STILL GOTSES LEVEL 6 GEAR SO BARB NOT KILL MUCH. BARB GOTSDED OUTKILLEDED BY STOOPID PALAMADIN, BUT BARB GOTSDED TO KILLAMASTEAL SILLY-LOOKING HOOMAN BARD. AND BARB GOTSDED LOTSES OF MYSTERIAMOUS REMAMANANTS. IF BARB WERE KOBOLD, BARB WOULD SAY REMAMANANTS BE OOOOOH SHIIIIINAMY, BUT BARB NOT KOBOLD. BARB BE DORF!

BARB NO CAN SMASH REMAMANANTS COZ DUH, DERE REMAMANANTS, SO DERE ALREADY SMASHDED. BUT BARB SMASH ALL DA CRATES AND BARRELS! SMASH SMASH SMASH!

UH-OH. BARB RUN – HERE COME DA PALAMADIN!

Ahem.

Sorry for the interruption. While Even was off trying on the Legendary Slave Rags she pulled the other night, seldom-played barb Niituna decided to take matters into her own hands and hijack the blog. As you can see, she has a certain fondness for Caps Lock… but at least she didn’t eat the Caps Lock key.

Yet.

(Yes, when I play Tuna, at least for guild runs where everybody’s used to my weirdness, I do roleplay her pretty much like her post here. My guildies find it charming. I think…)

The Slave Rags aren’t something Even is going to wear on a regular basis. They’re definitely not tank gear – c’mon, diversion? What self-respecting paladin wants anything to do with diversion? Not Even! And let’s face it – it’s hard enough to maintain a positive body self-image. Mainstream media and outdated attitudes mean that, no matter how much Even might like the Slave Rags, she’s likely to be subjected to taunting and criticism if she wears them out in public. They show a LOT of skin… and being PDK, Even’s got a lot of skin to show.

If you follow me on Twitter, you may already know that Streamin’ with Even is on indefinite hiatus. So no video this week. I may stream at random times if there’s something I want to get on video, but no more regular Sunday show in the foreseeable future. Not my choice, so don’t ask…

And now I’m going to take a little break to talk about something that happened in real life tonight that was scary as hell at the time, but might be kinda cool anyway. Mostly I’m putting this here because I was trying to tell Citi over voice earlier and Comcrap was being so very, VERY Comcraptastic that my audio was breaking up, so he really couldn’t hear me.

I’m involved in an annual local production of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I play Dr. Scott. (No, I’m not an old German scientist – it’s a long story.) We are a… “unique” bunch, to put it mildly.

At rehearsal tonight, we got to the scene where Rocky is “born” – i.e., jumps out of the tank and runs around singing “Sword of Damocles.” The guy who plays Rocky is also a rapper. He told us he’d been working on an alternate version of the song – same lyrics, same basic background music but with a rap beat added, and instead of the first set of “Sha-la-la-la that ain’t no crime” verses, he had written a rap. And he asked if he could do it for us, and if we liked it, if he could do that version in the show.

Like I said, we’re kinda weird. Er, unique. Anyway, everybody was enthusiastic, so he played the MP3 of the new version he’d composed and started singing. Got to the rap part and – it was freakin’ HYSTERICAL. Everybody was cracking up…

… especially Laura, who plays Magenta. She was sitting next to me, the music was blaring, and all of a sudden I noticed that she was having a really hard time breathing. I mean, a REALLY HARD TIME.

She managed to grab her purse and get her inhaler, but then she just went out. I grabbed the inhaler and shoved it in her mouth and tried to squeeze it – DAMN, those things are hard to squeeze! I was screaming that she was having an asthma attack and I needed help, but between the music blasting and everybody cracking up at the rap, no one heard me for what seemed like HOURS. It was probably more like 30 seconds or so… meanwhile, Laura was limp and turning blue and I really, truly thought she was going to die right there in front of me.

Like I said… SCARY AS FREAKING HELL. But finally people started realizing something was wrong, and one guy who’s not even in the cast, just showed up because he’s a friend of Riff Raff (well, the guy who plays Riff Raff) came over and helped me get Laura up and get some… whatever it is that’s in inhalers into her.

It took a while, and even once she was conscious and breathing and able to sip a little water, the girl who plays Eddie (well, female Dr. Scott, why not female Eddie? And no, she looks NOTHING like Meatloaf) told me that I was shaking for at least half an hour afterward. I didn’t even realize it.

So you’re probably thinking, “Wait, she said this was kinda COOL?! Seriously WTF?!”

No, Laura nearly dying was NOT AT ALL COOL. But… on our way out, she thanked me for saving her life.

Yeah.

I may have saved a life tonight.

That’s cool as all freaking hell.

And still scary as all freaking hell, too.