Is there a dragon version of Just for Men?

You know those “What’s wrong with this picture?” things you see around the Internet from time to time?

Here’s a DDO one for you. Can you spot what’s wrong with the above image?

I’ll give you a pretty humongous hint: Read the DM text carefully. Then take a good long look at the dragon.

I KNOW, RIGHT?!

When did Micahrastir go grey? C’mon, it says, “The great RED dragon, Micahrastir!” He’s always been red! At least, every time I’ve visited him, which is a fair number of times ’cause a) I love Underdark, and b) I once spent a lot of time farming his chests to see if I could get a red scale. (Never did, don’t know of anyone who ever has, but that doesn’t mean it’s not possible.)

I sifted through some old screenshots and found this one from when Reera made her first trip to Underdark, back in November of last year:

Yep, he’s pretty darn red, and that was less than eight months ago. One must wonder just what’s happened in that short time to turn a fiery red dragon into a boring lump of blah.

Causes I considered before rejecting:

• He got too frustrated trying to find a definition for “covfefe”
• He’s stuck on level 59 of Crunch Time, the new Simon’s Cat game (that one took me about three dozen tries)
• He accidentally turned his saturation all the way down

And then it occurred to me that there’s something in particular that’s got a lot of DDO players worried right now, AND up until now, we haven’t known what class Micahrastir plays…

Dude. It’s OK. The upcoming warlock nerf is a little scary, but c’mon, it shouldn’t be enough to turn you grey overnight. Buck up there.

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A little break from reality

Sundays at 11 pm Eastern has been working out quite well as a livestreaming slot for me. Still waiting to be added to the official schedule – maybe “soon*” ™?

Listening to, watching, and reading the news over the past few days… well, “depressing” is an understatement there. Forget that the two likely candidates for President of the United States are people of, erm, questionable integrity at best, IMHO. That’s old news. The election hasn’t happened yet. There’s still a chance for a happy ending. (Yep, I #FeelTheBern.)

Senseless violence, though… different story there. Was about to go to bed Friday night when I saw a headline that former “The Voice” contestant Christina Grimmie had been shot by a fan and was in critical condition.

I’ve been watching the show for several years now. I remember Christina. I liked her when she was on. She wasn’t my favorite, but I was happy that she ended up in the top three. The last thing she tweeted that night was, “ORLANDO!! Come out to the show tonight at the Plaza Live! Starts at 7:30!😎”

She never got the chance to tweet again. She was signing autographs after the show when a man walked up to her and shot her. Just like that. I stayed up that night waiting for news of her condition. Unfortunately, when word finally came, it wasn’t good. Bright, talented, 22 years old… gone. Just like that. No reason. Incredibly freaking sad.

And just one night later, a shooting spree in a nightclub, also in Orlando. Fifty people dead. More than that injured. Because some douchebag thought he had the right to kill people who didn’t love the way he thought they should.

It touched a nerve for me. My best friend is gay; I’m going to her wedding in July. My brother is gay. Some of the people I care about most are gay or bi. I am having a lot of trouble wrapping my head around the fact that there are people who want to kill them – KILL THEM – for being who they are. And I simply cannot understand why so many Americans vehemently, even violently, oppose any form of gun control.

But this is supposed to be a blog about DDO, not a soapbox. So I’ll get to that in a minute. First, though… be kind to each other. Cut the negative people out of your life and focus on the ones who make you laugh, who inspire you, who support you, who love you. Appreciate them. Cherish them.

So after everything that went on, it was a good feeling to log into DDO Sunday night, fire up the livestream, grab Keava and Slvr, and laugh our way through the Eveningstar chain. Slvr and I were over level, but SAGAS. I probably should’ve brought someone other than Even since Even can cruise through that stuff solo, but Even was who I wanted to play. She’s the one who’s the most like real-life me, and sometimes that matters.

Sunday’s run was just what I needed. In between liberating the Midlers (or are they the Milders? C’mon, DDO, a little consistency!), ridding Eveningstar of evil necromancers, leading Ana around (she wandered off and got lost once – maybe she needs some Bigby’s Guiding Hands), lighting bonfires, and comparing giant bebeliths to Herb Tarlek’s top account on “WKRP in Cincinnati” (yeah, you’re gonna have to watch the vid if you want to know about that one), we had a running gag about Elminster’s… thingie.

See, the night before, we’d taken a jaunt through King’s Forest. Keava and Slvr had already done a full circuit, but my intentionally-gimped bank bard Getting had never set foot in there, so she needed allllll the explorers. Y’know, those little snowflake things with messages from Elminster. I’d taken a quick side trip to pick up one I missed, Keava asked me what I was doing, and without thinking, I said, “I’m just over here grabbing Elminster’s thingie.”

So even a night later, we were still laughing about that. And then Keava opened a chest and asked if anyone wanted a Pale Rod… yeah, I think that probably deserves a Button of Winning!

Thanks, guys. I needed that. 🙂

Fun for ALL III: Reality check

 

I’m not sure anyone will really want to read this post. I’m not sure I even want to write it. Not that anyone wants to read any of my posts; I’m not nearly conceited enough to think anyone will be overcome with despair if I don’t post at regular intervals and fill them in on every last piddling detail of everything that every one of my toons has been doing. But I digress.

 

And I might digress a lot during this post, because there’s a LOT going on in this empty shell I call my head. I’m relieved. I’m hurt. I’m frustrated. I’m nervous. I’m confused. I’m anxious. I’m overwhelmed. I’m happy. I’m sad. I’m dealing with so much stuff right now, in and out of DDO.

 

See, stuff happens. It happens in DDO; it happens in real life. Most of what I’m going through right now is real life, and I’m freaking sick and tired of people who just cannot get it through their thick arrogant heads that NO. Some of us DO NOT freaking spend EVERY damn minute of EVERY damn day focused on DDO and how to rub in everyone’s faces how very über we are. I know there are people who put DDO ahead of “real life” things. I don’t have a problem with that; it’s a matter of personal preference. But don’t be all arrogant and condescending to me because I don’t make DDO my top priority.

 

I tend to be a pretty private person online except with people I know well and like. Even has a Gmail for DDO-related stuff. I try to check that every day in case someone has questions or concerns about OurDDO. The people I talk to on a regular basis outside of DDO have my “real” E-mail, Facebook and/or AIM. I don’t have time to spend checking messages in multiple places, so if someone sends me a message anywhere that’s not Even’s Gmail, my “real” E-mail, Facebook, or AIM, chances are I’m not going to see it. I have been called “rude and ignorant” on my OWN DAMN BLOG for this. Personally, I think “rude and ignorant” is expecting me to take time away from the non-DDO things I prioritize to cater to someone else’s whims as far as which messages I should be checking and when I should be checking them. When I didn’t cave to the bullying and become a minion, I got more crap… but I’m not going to apologize for that.

 

Anyway. I digress again. Being a mostly pretty private person, I don’t tend to share all the little details of my personal life online. Sharing the little stuff makes no sense to me – does anyone really need to know if my nose is stuffy or I stubbed my toe or that I had chicken for dinner? And most of the time, I prefer to keep the big stuff to myself. But. Today my emotions are getting the better of me. I should be pouring all this into my NaNoWriMo novel, but that’s going in a totally different direction. So, to all you egolitists out there…

 

I have a REAL LIFE. Like it or not – and I know you don’t, and I don’t give a flying fig that you don’t – I value my real life more than I value you. If you want to insult me and spread crap about me because I won’t bow down to your überness – screw you. Go bully someone else.

 

My father is in the hospital right now recovering from surgery. Yesterday he lost a half a rib, a goodly chunk of lung and a  number of lymph nodes in what will hopefully turn out to be a successful attempt to remove his lung cancer. Doctors found the tumor back at the beginning of May while treating him for a mild heart attack. He’s spent the past NEARLY SIX MONTHS being shuffled from doctor to doctor, being tested for all kinds of things and given all kinds of conflicting diagnoses, but until yesterday nothing had been done to actually TREAT him. In those months, the tumor grew from the size of a walnut to the size of a golf ball.

 

So far he seems to be doing well. I’m realistic; he’s 73 years old, is severely diabetic and requires an insulin pump, has had several heart attacks, and has already survived colon cancer. But I’m also trying to be optimistic.

 

So how does this rant relate to DDO?

 

DDO is my escape. It’s where I go to NOT think about the stressful things in my real life. Most of the time I think I’m a competent player.

 

But even though I’m often in DDO to “forget” real life, reality still creeps in. Sometimes this means I’m playing DDO, but I’m not completely focused on DDO. Late nights when things quiet down and I’m getting tired is usually when it’s worst. Vey has probably seen that the most; sometimes it seems like I’m always apologizing to him for being brain-dead. But thank heaven for friends like Vey, Baz, Ninja, Abs – I’m going to stop there because I’m not running on all cylinders right now, and I don’t want to leave anyone out – for them and the others who still invite me to run with them, or even INSIST that I run with them, and never give me a hard time when I’m not “all there.” In fact, they make a point of telling me the things I’m doing RIGHT. And that means that when I need to escape real life for a little while, I know I can head for DDO and lose myself there.

 

It’s certainly been eye-opening for me, seeing who really has my back, who’s just a good questing buddy, who doesn’t give a crap about me as long as I bring in some renown and lead a raid when they want me to. I have a lot to think over right now and figure out what I want to do and where I want to go.

 

I’m not going to apologize, EVER, for valuing real life above DDO. Nor will I apologize for speaking my mind and saying things that are true. I DO apologize for the rambling, disjointed nature of this post. Staying focused isn’t my strong point right now.

 

And speaking of points… I do have one. The next time some egolitist is about to start yelling at someone for making a mistake, or not obeying orders, or for just being a fallible human, I’d like to hope they’d stop and think, “Hey. Nobody’s perfect. That person could just be having an off day. Maybe I’ll just deal with it and move on instead of going on a rant about ‘stupid ppl’ wiping my parties.”

 

Yeah, well, it’s a nice thought.

Filkin’ around: Nerf City

Mostly I’m pretty happy with how my toons have turned out since Update 19, and aside from TRing Char, which had nothing to do with the update, I haven’t reincarnated – lesser, greater, or true – any of ’em. But there are still little things I run across that make me wonder what in the world the devs were thinking. After watching Slvr’s bard Dirge the training dummy multiple times tonight while he kept swapping gear around to figure out why there was no Harmonic Resonance going on, the phrase “Nerf City” popped into my head… and well, when that happens, most of my friends know there’s a filk on the way.

Jan and Dean, sorry to butcher your classic “Surf City” with my DDO version.

Nerf City

Too bad, delete, reroll

I got a level 20 tempest and she used to be bad-ass
(Nerf City, now I’m gimped)
She could’ve used some hit points but she beat up the mobs fast
(Nerf City, now I’m gimped)
But they forgot dual-wielders in the last update
So now all she’s good for is just dragon bait

Well, we’re stuck in Nerf City and we’re feelin’ dumb
Yeah, we’re stuck in Nerf City and it ain’t no fun
Well, we’re stuck in Nerf City and we’re feelin’ dumb
Yeah, we’re stuck in Nerf City and it ain’t no fun

Too bad, delete, reroll

I could TR her to a wizard or I could try out arti
(Nerf City, now I’m gimped)
I gotta figure out a new build or get left out of parties
(Nerf City, now I’m gimped)
Her skill points are a mess, they almost make me laugh
Do I really need to dump her bluff to raise spellcraft?

Well, we’re stuck in Nerf City and we’re feelin’ dumb
Yeah, we’re stuck in Nerf City and it ain’t no fun
Well, we’re stuck in Nerf City and we’re feelin’ dumb
Yeah, we’re stuck in Nerf City and it ain’t no fun

Too bad, delete, reroll

My monk can’t rez her hireling with Rise of the Phoenix
(Nerf City, now I’m gimped)
They say it’s working as intended but it seems more like a glitch
(Nerf City, now I’m gimped)
My rogue can’t find the secret doors around Wheloon
And my sorc’s DCs are crap, guess he’ll be my bank toon

Well, we’re stuck in Nerf City and we’re feelin’ dumb
Yeah, we’re stuck in Nerf City and it ain’t no fun
Well, we’re stuck in Nerf City and we’re feelin’ dumb
Yeah, we’re stuck in Nerf City and it ain’t no fun

Too bad, delete, re –
Too bad, delete, reroll

Think pink?

I have these pretty detailed ideas floating around my head about what my toons are like, personality-wise; not just their base stats and hit points and spellpower, but what they’d be like if they were real (WHAT?! They’re not real?) and were people I actually knew.

I’ve always imagined Zak, my pale master, as kind of a more masculine version of a metrosexual. He’s dignified, he takes some pains with his appearance, and he comes across as very British and aristocratic. He has very deep emotions but rarely expresses them, and is usually uncomfortable when he does.

Zak has definite ideas of what suits him, and he’s rather opinionated on what a pale master should be. When he’s not in form, he still has a certain “undertaker” air about him; he wears a lot of black with the occasional touch of “blood” colors (red, maroon, etc.). No bright colors, no light colors except for white and gray (which he spells “grey”), absolutely nothing fluorescent.

Well, Zak is peeved right now. Being the dignified, refined sort he is, “peeved” is about as mad as he gets. But he’s really, REALLY peeved, because the other night while in wraith form he happened to catch a glimpse of himself in the mirror, and what he saw was decidedly un-Zak…

PINK EYES? Seriously? Whose idea was this? WHY did they think it was a GOOD idea? This is SO not Zak… and even his icons, except for the one for his death aura, have gotten the pink treatment as well.

Now personally, I have nothing against pink. I kinda like it. I mean, hey, I’m a girl. When I was born, the hospital wrapped me in a pink blanket and put a pink bracelet on my wrist. But most guys I know aren’t as crazy about pink, especially glowing, fluorescent pink.

I can’t help but notice that Zak’s eyes are now the same color as that “wonderful” lag-inducing, video-card-burning hell that pervades Wheloon Prison… or as Baz calls it, “Lagmo Bismol.” Is this the new trend in DDO’s appearance? Are we doomed to live in a virtual world that looks like a radioactive Crayola box exploded?

I hope not. I don’t want my pale master to start crying pink tears.