Filkin’ Around: “Pally”


Our little band of Flower Sniffers of Destiny has been shortmanning raids of late – raids because they’re fun, shortmanning because of the lag monster.

During a fun but failed (because we let too many good guys die) attempt to four-man Defiler of the Just the other night, Seki said that Even seemed impossible to kill.

He mentioned that again tonight, after a successful three-man Fall of Truth and a not quite as successful Fire on Thunder Peak, also three-manned. We were actually not doing badly in FotP until Even accidentally grabbed the aggro of BOTH dragons and couldn’t shake it. PDK flesh must be a gourmet delicacy to dragons; even when she turtled up and let Seki and Gonari – neither of whom is any slouch when it comes to DPS – go after the dragons, all the dragons wanted was paladin shish kebab.

Sooo, no completion since you can’t damage either dragon if they’re near each other, and with them both aggroed hard on Even, there was no way we were going to get them separated. Eventually Seki had to log – real life, sleep, that kind of nonsense.  😉

I considered recalling, but RESPAWNING HELLHOUNDS. And I do not – YET – have a hellhound pet.

Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. A couple hundred hellhounds later, my fingers were cramping up and I was feeling almost ready to pack it in. Almost, but not quite. “I’ll just keep going until she dies,” I told myself. I figured it wouldn’t be terribly long before I ran out of both mana and Lay On Hands. I was right – kinda. The outdated con-op goggles Even wears, although they took a heck of a beating, kept replenishing her spell points when she got too low to Cocoon. Her Lay on Hands regenerate – not terribly quickly, but fast enough. Oh, and she’s using Terminus, which tosses a hjeal on her every so often when she gets hit.

No, Even wasn’t going down without a fight. “OK,” I thought, “I’m just going to stop hjealing her.”

But there was the not insignificant matter of those random shield hjeals, and then there was this nifty thing called Eternal Defender – short version, if Even’s hit points drop below zero but not lower than her range of unconsciousness, she immediately gets a hjeal. And with her crazy high heal amp, it’s a pretty nice hjeal, too. Oh, and I can’t remember the exact number, but her range of unconsciousness extends pretty far.

I stopped blocking. I took off her armor (Breastplate of the Celestial Avenger). I unequipped her shield…

… none of which helped. She still stood there very much alive for an inordinate amount of time considering there were two dragons, a bevy of magma brutes, hordes of skellies, the occasional necromancer, and, oh yeah, those hellhounds, all trying very hard to kill her.

I don’t know exactly how long she actually lasted. She’d been going for quite a while before I got the idea to start up the video capture, and the first capture went for maybe 10 minutes before failing because I ran out of disk space. (Oops.) After that, I tried to stop each video somewhere around a minute; ended up with four short clips I strung together, chopped the beginning off so it’d match the length of the song, and put on my filk hat. (No, I don’t really have a filk hat. Maybe I should get one.)

tl;dr: I tried really hard to kill Even. It took a while.

Lyrics are NOT in this post because I FINALLY GOT CAPTIONS TO WORK! GO CAPTIONS! If you don’t see them, click the little “CC” button near the bottom right of the player.

Sadly, I don’t know how to contact Dolores O’Riordan to see if she’d sing my lyrics to the Cranberries’ hit “Zombie.” I used Karafun’s karaoke version for this video.


44 thoughts on “Filkin’ Around: “Pally”

  1. Since I’m too lazy to edit the original post – it’s not nearly as laggy as it looks. All that jerkiness is mostly due to my computer definitely NOT wanting to run Camtasia and DDO at the same time.

    Also, in case it’s not clear in the video, I’m not hjealing Even AT ALL. The smallish hjeals you see are from her shield; the big ones are from Eternal Defender.

    Oh, and spoiler alert – yes, she finally dies at the end. LOL

    Also, I still need a filk hat.


  2. lrdslvrhnd

    And I had no idea you were gonna set this video to Zombie when I said that line… *g*

    (Also, somebody totally needs to do a HP zombie fanfic)


  3. Is Eternal Defender still bugged? I was running with a paladin who kept telling us how unkillable he was… turns out that the capstone doesn’t (didn’t?) use any lay on hands changes.. so it had unlimited uses.


      1. I had another look at the video and wiki: Eternal Defender: Passive: You gain +2 Charisma, +2 Constitution, + 10 to Physical and Magical Resistance Rating and your range of unconsciousness extends by 40 hitpoints.
        Toggle: While Eternal Defender is active, if you drop below 0 hit points but are not killed, two uses of Turn Undead are immediately expended and you receive a reactive heal for 250 points of Positive Energy healing.
        Passive: You gain +5 to Physical and Magical Resistance Rating.

        I found Evannotes turns in her quickbars and they stay at a steady 16. So, no, they are not getting used.

        Basically, unless you die (you drop below -40? in one hit), you will endlessly regenerate.

        I would bug report this, but since I haven’t tested this myself, I don’t know how to bug report it. Unless it’s considered an exploit?


  4. T'Pau

    Yea now i remember where i know of u, ur the one who trolled evennote on the pc, now ur trying to make it sound like she’s using an exploit, jealous much? god get a life girl or just go back to the vault lol


    1. Ask Cordovan how much I was trolling. I was not. I said pallies suck, which they did at the time. This was not just my opinion, but what everyone around me was saying. When the devs keep adding more and more mobs with more and more hp, if a character is unable to kill them, in most parties they will be considered a piker. Generally I allow pikers, but I know a lot of ppl who will blacklist ppl for piking.

      This is not the first time Evannote has posted a story of her unkillable paladin. If that is what she enjoys, then all good to her. I’m just pointing out that I met someone in game a few weeks ago who was bragging abut how unkillable he was .. due to the bug with Eternal Defender. Yet, Eternal Defender only works if you don’t get insta killed. Said person didn’t last long against Sorjek on LE. 🙂


  5. T'Pau

    u should move to states and run for pres lmao, u sound like trump, say something then say u were talking about something else. so i just looked at the first page here, i don’t see anything else about un killable paladins but im not obsess to read every single blog. do u keep notes? lol why the hardon for evennote, if u don’t liek it don’t read it, yes its that simple.


    1. I’m Finnish. I have no ill intentions towards Evannote, I read the ddo blogs posted by ddocentral once in a while. I’ve known Evannote for about 4 years, even ran with her once. I have also been reading her blog for that long.. not every blog, but the ones that caught my attention.

      I just thought it was funny in an ironic sort of way that the thing that makes this char special might be because of a bug. And I was being serious, I was going to report said bug, but I don’t know how to fill out the report since it’s not any of my characters.


    1. Tree bug was helping the players, but also it was so openly used that the devs would have been blind not to notice it. The paladin bug is a bit different, as it’s not as obvious and much less used. I bug report things when I can be bothered to do so. E.g. the devs have asked us to bug report every string table error, and every bugged ladder with /loc, as these have to be corrected manually one by one. I did so for a while, but got tired of it. Also, who stops mid raid/ quest to do a bug report on a ladder?


      1. A friend of mine on Orien actually started documenting bugs… asked me and some other to help out. The plan was to send them in as a list to the devs once it was done. The problem as I see it is that some of the bugs in the original document has already been fixed.


      2. lrdslvrhnd

        So a well-known bug that benefits you is fine, but a well-known bug that benefits someone else is not. Gotcha. Good to know.

        Especially when it’s “helping” a player who’s actively trying to die stay alive.

        I guarantee you, in all my time playing with her, Even hasn’t gone below zero 8 times in a single quest. Or even more than a handful of times. Therefore, your well-known treeform bug that benefits you is MUCH worse (and more exploity) than this well-known bug that hasn’t actually provided any meaningful benefit whatsoever. And what you consider “pikey” I consider “valuable”. Somebody who can get and hold aggro and survive it while the rest of us beat on stuff is a welcome addition to any party I’m in (especially considering a few of my characters are ‘glass cannons’…)


        1. Give it a rest. I was curious if this video shows Even using a bug, from the information shown, it does. I haven’t used tree form since they fixed it when Wheloon was released (August 19, 2013) and we are supposed to report bugs when we notice them.

          I was on the PC with Even in 2014. I was slightly too passive aggressive with my opinions to which I have apologised (not sure if Even ever saw that post). But Even chose to squelch and ignore me instead of talking to me… which is her choice. I ignore her ignoring and read her blog anyway.


    2. lrdslvrhnd

      “give it a rest”? You’re the one who keeps going on about it, I make ONE reply, and I’m the one who needs to give it a rest? Yeah, no.

      She’s not “using a bug”. To “use a bug” it has to affect you for the better. When you’re TRYING to die, something that keeps you alive is not “using a bug.” She’s not “using a bug”, because she doesn’t use it when actually playing, because her HP rarely gets that low. Certainly not often enough that even if it worked properly, she would run out of turns.

      And just because you no longer use tree form now that it’s no longer bugged… apparently you used it a lot when it *was*. Sooooo… it was good to use when bugged, but as soon as they fixed it you stopped. And now you’re getting on Even for something she *doesn’t* use. Hypocrite, thy name is Micki.


      1. I said give it a rest, because you’ve apparently jumped on the bandwagon of ppl pointing their finger at me with “Shame on you, Micki. You used the tree bug back in 2013, so you got no right to comment on others using bugs”. I don’t recall ever bragging about the tree form (up for discussion of course), nor posting videos of it. The tree form was so popular on Orien that every other divine and even some melees were running around in it. I recall doing a raid where 6/12 ppl were trees.

        It is so interesting how I point out that Even is using a bug in her video.. and Even’s friends rush in to tell me how awful of a person I am for pointing the finger at Even, and that I should leave her alone because she’s a nice person. I agree, I don’t know her. All I know is that she’s a proud flower sniffer (which she has all right to be), and anyone saying anything negative about anything that she does, is a bad person. It’s wonderful to idolize ppl, isn’t it?


      2. lrdslvrhnd

        Except she’s – and try VERY VERY HARD to get this concept through your head – NOT USING A BUG. She is INTENTIONALLY TRYING TO DIE. And failing *because* of the bug. Do you see the difference? She took off her armor and her shield in an attempt to die, because she can’t recall out (too much stuff hitting her, eventually something rolls a 20 or she rolls a 1 and gets interrupted), she can’t make it to the door (watch the video again, you’ll see where that’s suggested and she says she’s too surrounded by mobs to move).

        This is not an exploit she’s deliberately using (unlike, say, everyone exploiting the tree form bug, or everyone exploiting the AA bug where you could get *all* the imbues, or everyone exploiting wolf/TWF/SWF, etc.); this is a bug that simply happens to be on display. There is a difference. This isn’t a bug that has ever affected her before, because she just plain doesn’t get put in a position where it *would*. Yes, she really is that good a pally where she doesn’t very often get her HP knocked that low. I was there; before she actively started trying to die, she was eating all the damage for breakfast and healing what little of it she was actually taking well before she got low enough for this bug to hit.

        She had already written the filk. This was simply a good opportunity to get some video to go with the song.

        And I’m not jumping on the bandwagon of pointing my finger at you, I’m jumping on the bandwagon of defending my friend. So maybe YOU should give it a rest.


      3. I read this blog. The post is about how Even could not die. I pointed out that it is because of a bug, and that I would like to report it if I knew what to say about it. As far as I am concerned, I am doing the proper thing. BUT, you are all jumping down my throat, because you feel like I’m attacking her. I highly doubt she really needs your protection.

        To me, Even should report this bug.. and you should stop telling me off for pointing it out to her. You’re the one who’s being hypocritical, as you first said that this is a bug that benefits players… then you say that it didn’t benefit Even, because she was unable to get out.

        Oh, how about next time she just toggles that feat off? Not that I would know if it works, but wiki says “while it is active”. So, had she turned it off, she could have just skipped those 5 wasted minutes.


  6. Even, first, be happy I love you. I had this amazing comment written out, yet forgot that I wasn’t logged in, upon logging in, WordPress decided I needed to type it again, despite having C&P’d in. >.< Anyways.

    Lil miss debbie downer, It's EVEN, not Evan. If you're intentionally spelling it with an "A", thats just rude, and childish. Surely you can come up with other ways of insulting someone. Especially as you claim to have run with them. Once. Wow. A whole once. You can not claim to know someone by stalking their posts, harassing them and running with them one time. That's like Evionne claiming that he knows me because I booted him from party one night.

    I've been running with Even for… I dont even know how long, long enough that she and I are friends outside of game, and I have never, NEVER, heard her even imply that she'd try and cheat. Of all the people I play with on DDO, there are a total of 2, maybe 3 people that I would believe if/when they say they've never cheated, used a loophole, or exploited in any way, shape or form. Even is one of those people.

    She spends (I love you, Even!!) entirely too much time working on her toons, making them the best they can possibly be, and farming for gear. She's not the sort to buy it from websites, not the type to bat her lashes to get something (Unless it's a hellhound companion… <3) Nor would she ever resort to cheating.

    Try and have a little respect, calm your envy boner over her toons, and let it go. Go find someone else to harass. Also, if you're having issues filing a report, I'm sure there are other snitches who are willing to help you figure it out.


    1. I was sure her nick was Evannote either on forums or twitter, but can’t check now. That wasn’t intentional.

      I was part of the group of myddo writers that joined the guild on cannith back in 2012. Due to time zone differences I didn’t run with Even more than once.

      At some point later I got the impression that Even was angry at me for something. Maybe something I wrote in a blog or on twitter… maybe the whole drama with Mizz, no clue. I tried to reach out to Even, mutual friends tried to ask her too, but I never got an answer. Since then Even either ignores me or hisses at me if she actually replies.

      Concerning this bug. I really don’t need to snitch, since it’s right there in the video. But Even should report this herself.


      1. I can assure you, she’s never gone by Evan. Even if you were under the assumption that she went by “Evan”, it’s pretty clear in her post, all of them, that she uses an E, rather than an A, anyone with a spot higher than a 3 would see that. I doubt someone would intentionally, and repeatedly, spell their own toon name incorrectly. Also, she doesn’t, and hasn’t forever run on Cannith, though I’d have to double check with her to find out. Though, it’s a bit past 1am and I’m not going to text this late.

        As for her hissing at you? I’m presuming you’re talking figuratively, while she may act childish with me when we’re dinking around and being snarky to one another, I can’t see her hissing at anyone. If anything, she’s the one trying to get me to stop being snarky and to stop telling people off.


        1. I seem to remember her having two nicks “Evennow” and “Evannote”. Like with ppls toons, I use the first part of their names when I adress them. I’ve been calling Even “Evan” for a long time and no one until now has corrected me.

          I don’t know how much she plays on Cannith or if she even does anymore, but she was part of the myddo writers running there. Lrdslvrhnd is another, if I’m not mistaken.

          When I say she hisses at me, I mean she snaps at me. I.e. I feel she’s annoyed or angry at me. If she replies at all. The only replies I have gotten from her the last few years have all seemed to me like she really doesn’t like me. And I have no clue why… as she won’t tell me. Since you two are so close, maybe you could ask her for me?


        2. Also, the commets on the players council that I’m accused of trolling her for started with “I know Even is going to hate me for this, but Paladins suck”. This wasn’t me trying to troll her, this was me stating the obvious. That Even loves her paladins and will hate me for saying anything negative about it. Even got insulted, got angry at me… but I refused to back down on my opinions. If I had told her “yeah you’re right, paladins don’t suck”, I would have been lying. Then paladins got improved and got a lot better. If we can’t see the flaws in the characters… and can’t voice them when we were in a position to be heard by the devs… why were we on the PC in the first place?


  7. NOTwhouthink

    Let me explain to you why Evennote should ignore you. You come here and accuse her of exploiting. When it is pointed out that there is no evidence she has misused eternal defender, you attack her for not reporting the bug. Then you attack her for ignoring you. You thinking that you are smarter than everyone else doesn’t make it so. Anyone with half a brain can clearly see you are trolling her. She may be a Turdbin apologist but by not responding to your ever more desperate attempts to troll her she has pwned you in ways you can’t even understand. Now you block her so that you won’t see her posts. Again trying to make her look bad when it is you who is making the trouble. She would have to be even stupider that you are to post a public video where she uses an exploit or to rely on a bug that doesn’t help you unless you’re almost dead. If you think she is using an exploit then it’s your duty to report her, pm Cordo and tell him, make sure you give him the names of the other two people in the party as witnesses to the exploit. Let us all know how that works out for you.

    Suction yourself away from you computer and stop your infantile attempts at drama. Go outside or something, maybe some sun would help that fish belly complexion.


    1. I have never used Eternal Defender, but if wiki is to be believed… this is a toggle feature, and only does what it does in this video when it is active and turned on. To die, Even only needed to click it and turn it off, but she did not. So clearly she is showing off her usage of a bugged feature in the video above. Anyone with half a brain can see this.

      Let me explain to you the definition of trolling, since you are clearing using this word without really understanding it. According to wikipedia: “In Internet slang, a troll (/ˈtroʊl/, /ˈtrɒl/) is a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people, by posting inflammatory,[1] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog) with the deliberate intent of provoking readers into an emotional response[2] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion,[3] often for their own amusement.”

      I read the blog and watched the video.. then asked if this feat is still bugged.. only to answer my own question that it is. My intentions have been honest and direct.. but everyone else have constantly been trying to bully me into leaving.. to which you have succeed. I muted Even’s tweets and blogs because you people here have clearly shown me that I and my comments are not welcome, so I will stay away. This is on you and the rest of her fans, it has nothing to do with Even.


      1. NOTwhouthink

        First off I’m not Evennote’s fan, I don’t know her, I’ve never talked to her, I read her blog for the music parodies sometimes. Second by the definition you yourself just posted, you are nothing more or less than a troll. Nowhere is there any sign that Evennote is using eternal defender to cheat. Multiple people have pointed this out. Show me in the video where this bug is helping her. She’s trying to recall out of the quest and she can’t, instead of getting upset she thinks it’s funny and makes a video that she puts on her blog where anyone can see it. ‘Anyone with half a brain’ would know not to do this if they were cheating.
        Your intentions have never been honest or direct, not here, not anywhere, this is simply another one of your witchhunts. I don’t like to repeat myself but you were too stupid to get this the first time so I will, first you accused her of cheating and then you attacked her for not reporting the bug, then you went into victim mode as you always do and whined about her being mean to you. Everytime someone corrects you with facts you find another way to attack and then turn on whiny little bitch mode and try to make it look like you are the one who’s been wronged. The bully here is you, no one else has done anything but correct your assumptions.


        1. You made one mistake. Or maybe multiple. But the main mistake you just made is that you just admitted to knowing what “I always do”. I have not accused Even of bullying, I am accusing her fans of bullying. And as a matter of fact, you are trolling me. You are intentionally trying to aggregate me so I’ll say something stupid. This conversation has moved past Even, and is now all about you. I don’t even think you’re doing this to protect Even, you’re posting with a fake name in an attempt to troll me into losing my shitz (and yes you are making me agitated, so you are succeeding).

          In fact, by the comment you just made, you’ve just said that Even is too dumb to realize she could have turned the feat off to recall? And she’s selfish too, since instead of turning the feat off to kill herself (and in the process lose aggro) she made everyone wait for her. Of course, I could say that the ppl in her party are partially to blame since they didn’t suggest she turn the feat off, but let her do this.

          And explain again how this is not bragging about how a bugged feature is preventing someone from dying? There’s always two sides to a story. On one hand if you idolize Even and think she can do nothing wrong, she’s a nice little girl who’s a good and kind player, always helpful wouldn’t hurt a fly. But if you’re like me a realist who doesn’t idolize Even, you see that she basically screwed her party over by stealing aggro and then sitting there keeping herself alive, instead of killing herself to lose aggro. If she really was incapable to turn the feat off, she could have killed her client, which would also have lost aggro.

          Call me jealous all you want, but I wouldn’t be selfish like that.


      2. lrdslvrhnd

        Let me clear up a few misconceptions right off the bat.

        1) She didn’t “make everyone wait for her.” At the time she took the video? She was the only one in there. I was long since recalled out and hanging out on the ship perusing the AH, and our guildie was even longer since offline.

        2) Neither of us thought about turning off Eternal Defender because, frankly, it was like 4 AM at this point. I don’t know about you, but I don’t do my best thinking at 4 AM. So sorry we’re human.

        3) She didn’t “screw her party over by stealing aggro”; she simply *got* the aggro. She came over to get the trash off me (y’know, before it killed me) just as the dragon I was playing tag with came back down. Oops, intim hit him, too. Had Even then managed to die to shed aggro? Probably the only thing that would’ve been accomplished would’ve been a wipe, especially given the problems our guildie and I had already experienced in rezzing each other, both in FoT earlier and in this attempt. Had she killed her client? We almost certainly would’ve died waiting for her to get back… at which point we would’ve had the same problem all over again.

        4) We didn’t go in there expecting a completion. We went in there to have fun and see how far we could get. Mission accomplished. We may not have gotten a completion, but it was a successful raid nonetheless.

        5) This isn’t “bragging about how a bugged feature is preventing her from dying”. She had already written the filk, this was simply a good opportunity to get some video to go along with it, especially once we’d stopped even trying to get a completion (which, as I said, we didn’t go in there expecting to get).

        Let me say this again, because you clearly haven’t figured it out from the previous times I’ve said it: EVEN DOES NOT RELY ON THIS BUG TO STAY ALIVE. In fact, she had no idea about it. Because SHE DOESN’T GO BELOW ZERO OFTEN ENOUGH FOR IT TO MATTER. Hell, she doesn’t often go below 50%. When she does, she tosses off a Cocoon or a LoH and is back up there. Yes, she has died… but it’s generally from some massive overspike of damage. It’s extremely rare for ED to kick in, and pretty much unheard of for it to do so multiple times in an entire gaming session (let alone a single quest, or between shrines).


      3. NOTwhouthink

        So sad, you said you were going to stay away? It’s sweet of you to miss me but I’m just not that into you. Show me where it says I know what you always do, I know your pattern is all, you troll someone and then you deny everyting and put on your little miss innocent act to try to blame the person you’re trolling. You’re doing it here, you’ve done it on the vault, what’s next, are you going to cry and ask me if I feel like a big man for being mean to a girl, it wouldn’t be the first time.
        I already said I don’t even know Evennote, what she did that you’re jonesing for her so bad? Did you make a pass and she turned you down, now you try to get back at her. Will you yell rape next time Darth not in the mood? smdh you are letting your motives show every time you post something. Just as I said you are still attacking Evennote, you start off by saying the converstaion has moved past her and about me noe and then you say she’s stupid and selfish and bragging. Since you feel so strong that she is cheating and as you said it’s your duty to report then report her and the people in her party too since they were in on it. I’ll even write you it for you, ‘Dear Cordovan, Evennote is cheating, she’s using the eternal defender glitch to stay alive, Gonari and Sekihan are helping her.’ Just send that and make sure you come back here and tell us what he says, you know you can’t stay away.


  8. Pingback: Gettin’ twitchy wit it | Even Now

  9. Pingback: Filkin’ Around: Dragon Bane (She’s a mother, all right) | Even Now

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