Yarkety Yark!

Even is being mean and refusing to post this for me.  Instead, she invited me to an author on her blog (likely hoping that I’ll start blogging myself, HAH) and forcing me to do it.  Since I have no idea how long the Kobold forums are going to be live, here is the filk I was inspired to write on the *Yark* thread.

The tune is, of course, Yakety Yak, by the Coasters.

Icons of Khyber and prayer beads
So much better than heroic deeds
If you don’t hop up that sewer wall
Adventurers are gonna make you fall
Yarkety Yark (don’t jump back)

Just remember the Waterworks
Those adventurers are such jerks
Just get all shinies out of sight
Or humans will take them in a fight
Yarkety Yark (don’t jump back)

Just put on your skull mask, ick
And then you look like Kasquick
Being descended from dragons
Kobold always prone to braggin’
Yarkety Yark (don’t jump back)

We gonna mine the shinies
Smokin’ crystal, don’t blow please
Transport back to the Foreman
This job is such a bore, man
Yarkety Yark (don’t jump back)

(There, Even… Happy now I blog kobold filks, to paraphrase a kobold?)