Filkin’ around: Lie of the Spider

Acanthia

Ever wonder where DDO NPCs get their names? There’s a pretty good thread that has sources for quite a few of them, and some are really quite clever and appropriate.

But there’s this one rare encounter in High Road that always leaves me feeling a little disappointed. I remember the first time I moused over the orange dot on my map and thought, “OOOOH! Spider of Unusual Size! I can’t wait to see how big it is!”

With a name like that, you’d think the damn thing would be the size of Velah on steroids. But no, it’s a bit bigger than the other spiders in High Road… JUST a bit though, not really all that much. I mean, it’s bigger than Acanthia, but then again, what isn’t?

“Unusual Size” – much like, “The check’s in the mail,” “Of course I’m not avoiding you,” “I’m attracted to personality, not appearance,” and “Really, Officer? I had no idea I was going that fast!” – is a big ol’ fat lie.

Acanthia

And so I give you, set to Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger,” this DDO parody, “Lie of the Spider.”

Runnin’ ’round, out in High Road
Lookin’ for rare encounters
Got those two druids and that giant wood woad
Now a new orange dot’s on the map

I rub my eyes – is this a mistake?
This bug don’t look all that special
It’s not that big, come on, give me a break
Whoever named it is just full of crap

It’s the lie of the Spider of Unusual Size
As boss mobs go, it’s really very minor
I’m unimpressed with this very underwhelming surprise
And I’m not gonna fall for the lie of the spider

It’s got eight legs and red eyes so bright
And it looks kinda hungry
But to call it huge just wouldn’t be right
Even halflings and dwarves would agree

It’s the lie of the Spider of Unusual Size
As boss mobs go, it’s really very minor
I’m unimpressed with this very underwhelming surprise
And I’m not gonna fall for the lie of the spider

The thing curled up and died with a scream
So much for the king of arachnids
This bugged encounter must be some dev’s weird dream
I can still hear its puny death cry

It’s the lie of the Spider of Unusual Size
As boss mobs go, it’s really very minor
I’m unimpressed with this very underwhelming surprise
And I’m not gonna fall for the lie of the spider

The lie of the spider
The lie of the spider
The lie of the spider
The lie of the spider

March Madness will return soon, just been a bit under the weather.

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8 thoughts on “Filkin’ around: Lie of the Spider

  1. Shindurza

    Hmph, if you don’t know Eye of the Tiger then go back under the rock you’ve been hiding under! πŸ™‚

    As for the name, it’s a take off of Rats of Unusual Size from the movie The Princess Bride.

    Like

  2. legendkilleroll

    You really need to upload a video, with you singing, that would be so awesome πŸ˜›

    As im on my phone and cant do it, i really gotta try reading with song playing that should make it easier

    Yay for more march madness soon πŸ™‚

    Like

    1. Evennote

      @Slvr: It’s Weird Al’s “Rye or the Kaiser” (aka “Theme from Rocky XIII”). Does that help?

      @Shin: OK, but are the rats unusually-sized?

      @Legend: No, no, NO I don’t. Clearly you’ve never heard me sing. Be grateful for that.

      Like

  3. Spencerian

    *massive screams and frantic clapping, fan waves, roses thrown to the ice, fireworks in the air, women pulling off their tops…(oh, wait…that’s for me…)*

    …and a sad realization of how old I am to know the exact melody of every single song posted so far. I could really go online and say to half of the gamers: “No, *I* am (old enough to be) your father!”

    Now that my angst moment is done, you can add a filk to your queue about how DDO can eclipse a lot of your real life if you’re not careful, something like “DDO Killed My Dating Lifestyle” to the tune of “Video Killed the Radio Star”.

    Like

  4. LrdSlvrhnd

    Yeah, i know the theme (and that it’s the basis to “Rye or the Kaiser”), but not well enough to sing to it lol (Hey, I grew up listening to oldies, not ’80s…)

    And since the ROUSs in Princess Bride are played by humans in bad rat costumes… yeah, they’re fairly unusually-sized *g*

    Like

  5. ComicRelief

    @Shin: It’s RODENTS! RODENTS of Unusual Size, not “rats”. You have failed.
    πŸ˜‰

    @Even: Yes; yes, they are. About the size of a medium dog (bigger than a Beagle, smaller than a German Shepard). *Gasp* Have you not seen the movie?
    πŸ˜‰

    Like

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