Sometimes when faced with sticky real-life situations, I find myself wondering, “What would Acanthia do?”
My plucky little monk, unlike the rest of my toons, has almost nothing of me in her personality. She’s kind of my alter ego – outgoing where I’m introverted, bold where I’m shy, outspoken where I’m reticent.
Real-life me has always been terrified of dentists. This is bad, as I’ve had a lifetime issue with a mouth that’s too small for my teeth. Yes, really… and yeah, the first time a dentist told me that, I thought it was bunk too, and ignored it. Well, until the pain of having the roots of my bottom teeth touching a nerve canal while the roots of the top ones burrowed into my sinus cavity got to be too much to overlook.
So over the past several months, I’ve been having a LOT of dental work. It has not been pleasant. Yesterday – yep, I spent Valentine’s Day at the dentist, but what the heck, I was going to be going through that “lovely” combination of pain and numbness anyway, but more on that elsewhere – I was having some relatively minor work done, just two fillings. The trouble with “minor” dental work from my standpoint is that I have to be conscious and therefore aware of everything that’s going on. This leads me to think of everything that could possibly go wrong. So I’m lying there absolutely rigid and panic-stricken in the dentist chair, fists balled up, shaking, heart pounding, while the dentist keeps telling me over and over to calm down and unclench my jaw so he can do what needs to be done.
And this is when I made myself think, “What would Acanthia do?”
Because Acanthia is fearless. After Horoth and Arraetrikos and Velah and Lolth, a skinny guy wearing a lab coat and wielding a drill wouldn’t faze her a bit. I can just imagine her striding (as much as a halfling with short halfling legs can really stride) in, flopping down in the chair, and angling a mirror so she could watch the whole thing. She might even ask to try doing the drilling herself.
It didn’t turn me from a dental chicken into a nonchalant patient boldly vegging out in the chair, but at least it helped keep my mind off the whole thing somewhat. If only I could really channel Acanthia’s spirit… she’d never stand for my mother’s attention-whoring histrionics, hypochondria and guilt trips, for starters.
Be warned – most of what’s got me so down is not my mother – I’m used to that – but personal, silly-emo-girl stuff. Sometimes I need to vent. I’m not sure why I decided to (kind of) share it; maybe it’s because of a few supportive, encouraging messages I got yesterday from MyDDOers who don’t know the situation, but just knew I was feeling down. I hope if they read this, they recognize themselves, because thanks to them some of the tears I shed yesterday were the good kind.
Anyway, I doubt many, if any, people will WANT to read this, so it’s stored here and password-protected. If you want the password, drop me a mail; if I don’t give it to you, it’s nothing against you, it’s just that it’s intensely personal and I’m hesitant as to who I share it with.