I guess I’ll just never get it.
Nearly every day, I see something in game chat or in a blog post or on the forums that lets me know how completely awful I am at DDO. So many people think if you’re not doing things exactly the way they would, then you must be doing it wrong.
Well, color me wrong. I joined DDO to have fun, not to feel like my ePeen is bigger than anyone else’s because my pixels are more über than your pixels. And yes, one of the biggest ePeens I know in this game belongs to a female – or maybe she prefers to be called an überfrau, ’cause she’s, y’know, so über. Sadly, she’s not unique.
At least a few of my friends from MyDDO are reluctant to join PuGs, worried about being ridiculed if something goes wrong. I often feel the same way myself. I kept Vic out of an eVoN run last night; I really wanted to join, and they sat around for a long time waiting for a trapper. I know Vic can handle the traps, because she’s done it before, but there was one guy in the group who’s given Even hell before for not having enough HP/armor class/something else I can’t remember, and who totally ripped up Jall after a failed ToD flagging run. He was so harsh that another friend of mine who was in that group says she’ll never again run with ANYONE from the guild he was in at the time.
So many elitists. So many insults. “Why are you using mana to heal?” “You’re stupid if you don’t have [insert spell] loaded.” “You should have taken [insert feat or enhancement] so you wouldn’t suck.” “You’re only using [insert gear]? Hahaha, fail!” Etc., etc., etc. It all boils down to, “If you’re not doing it like me, you’re doing it wrong;” or in other words, “You’re a noob and you’ll never be as über as me because I am the Überest of the Über, dummy.”
Jall is probably the toon who’s taken the most crap from people. A healbot! Who uses mana! And drinks pots! OH THE HORROR! What I can’t figure is WHY so many people give such a damn about how I play my toons. If Jall is keeping your red bar up as well as any other healer could under the same circumstances, why do you care how she does it?
A while back, Jall went through 26 major mana pots during an epic Devil Assault run. It was a group to make any elitist prig shudder – gimpy Jall (this was before I LRed her, so she was REALLY gimpy) in her first eDA and possibly the first time I’d done an epic with her; Slvr on his bard doing his first epic ever on ANY toon; Billy, who’d never gotten an eDA completion, on his nearly-as-gimpy-as-Jall cleric; Day with her ranger doing her first-ever eDA; Levin on his not-at-all-gimped caster; and a random monk who turned out to be pretty darn good. It was possibly the ugliest completion of eDA in the history of eDAs. Soooo many deaths! Neither Levin nor the monk died at all, and miraculously, mostly thanks to Death Pact (she didn’t have DI yet, since this was pre-LR), neither did Jall. She kept her aura going while throwing out bursts and heals as fast as possible and drinking pot after pot. Unlike your average elitist, though, I’m not COMPLAINING about how many pots she went through. If anything, I’m BRAGGING about it – I’m proud to have friends who are MORE than worth chugging pots for, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
I like building the best toons I can and doing well with them, but I don’t get all butthurt when my own – or anyone else’s – toons aren’t über builds with über gear. Give me a wipe with a fun group any time over a completion with a bunch of asses.
I’m not sure how it would make me a better person if all my toons were completely über with full sets of twink gear. What would I do? Go to my class reunion and brag about having more hit points than anyone in my guild? Tell a job interviewer that I always lead the kill count with my +99 Epicly Epic Greatsword of Überness +15?
I know DDO is more than a game for some. Heck, it’s more than that for me sometimes. But you elitists out there seem to think that makes it OK for you to judge the people behind the toons based on their toons. Oddly enough, I have never ONCE been in a group that wiped because someone’s build or gear wasn’t up to snuff. I’ve almost never been in groups where a wipe was solely the fault of one person – and when it was, it was either an honest mistake (like the poor guy who’d never done VoN6 and accidentally ran too far ahead, locking himself in with Velah while the rest of the party was locked out) or blatant stupidity (like the guy who claimed to have run Hound many times, but immediately started killing the puppies and wouldn’t listen to everyone telling him in text and voice to stop).
I’ve probably built and geared my toons differently than other people would have done – and to me, that’s a GOOD thing. Sometimes that means having to approach a quest in a new way, and again, that’s just fine with me. I’m always willing to listen to advice, but not to insults. If that’s a problem for you, do us both a favor and don’t group with me.
So I guess I’m doing it wrong… but if so, I don’t want to be right.